Final Blow
Finally its over.. those 7 explaination i sent was my last words for you. I have lotsa regret. I regret being with you, you are my first girlfriend, i had my first almost everything with you and it ended with such humiliating way. I wish i never had relationship with you. If only i know earlier that you gonna leave me for that fucking asshole, i'd rather not been with you at all. You hurt me for all those time, so many fucking time, i could tolerate it for you. But now you were hurt once and already leaving me. For fuck sake, once you decided to leave, even a simple mistake will look like a big problem for you. I wish i can say FUCK OFF right on your face but i'm not so fucking cruel like you. Yes.. you are cruel.. how could you do this to me ? Where are all your fucking promises ? Now.. go with him.. be fucking happy with him !!! One day, one guy will leave you for another girl because she looks better and then you'll understand how hurt i felt. Then, i hope you'll recall what you have done to me and regret it. And ohw, not to forget that big fat bullshit you said. You'd have left me for that drunk bastard even if i look like John Abraham ? Ohw my god, fuck this world will you. This bullshit is too much even to be heard by anyone and i'm so unlucky to be the one. Thats the biggest bullshit i've ever heard from anyone. |
The Great Epilogue
January 16, 2007, the day for my art met its death. So much i worked for it, so much i spent time on it, took me months to drew it but its dead, burnt to death now after i completed just around 2 months ago. It was close to 2.00am, when i received this a call, it was her. Her first words, weren't a suprise for me, finally he confessed the he liked her. But then, the next one was worst, i never expected it. She wants a break up from me. I guess it was just like every for every other men, felt like struck by a lighting bolt. Speechless i was yet i still managed to speak few words. Why ? Its all because she likes him, more than she does for me. Why ? Because he looks much better than i do. I cried so much, very very much. Couldn't move myself, felt like i'm dead already. I can never hate him, not his fault, not at all. He is a guy and basically he got attracted to her as because all he knows is that she is single, not in any relationship. So its something normal for him to do, nothing wrong. Well, she told me that she refused him, she said no it seems. Does that make any difference ? Hell no ! You still left me, thats what matters. It doesn't make any difference whatever she told him because it doesn't matter to me at all. All i know is that you left me because of another guy and thats the worst thing can ever happen to any guy. Being dumped because of someone better, i feel like a trash now. You threw me away just like that, like a piece of shit, like some trash. Do you know how much it hurts ? You asked me not to wait for you to come back and i think i know why. Its because, you never wanna come back to me. Most probably, this gonna remain forever. In the end you can still say that you love me. Don't you feel stupid ? It hurts a lot more when you keep saying that you really really love me because i know its all bullshit ! Why you doing this to me ? What evil i've done to you for me to suffer this pain and humilation. Have you ever imagined how it feels if it happens to you ? Can you imagine how it feels if a guy dumped you because there is another much better looking girl likes him. I dont think you do. He smokes, drinks and doing diploma. Its all against your intrest yet you still likes him very much. Why ? He looks fucking good, thats why. Looks does matter for you. Actually its is a very good lesson you thought me. Thank you very much, i'll never forget it, never ever. You know something, if only i'm someone very very good looking guy, i don't think you'd have dumped me. It doesn't matter even if its a guy you had a crush since the day you were born, you wouldn't have left me for him if i'm very fucking much better looking guy. Isn't it ? |
Dirty Adventure
January 03, 2007, it was during one clear typical wednesday, the adventure begins with me bluffing to my brothers, i told them i'm going to study at the library. I took my file with me, kept it at one of the tutorial classrooms, went to the bus stop and took a bus to meet my girlfriend, missed her very very much. Met her at the commuter station and went to Timesquare as we planned earlier. I was so damn happy to meet her. She was very sweet with me that day. I loved it, every single second. We were kissing almost all the time, we made out at few places. Kinda tired, went to McDonalds for lunch. Then, we came across door to emergency staircase. She pulled me inside and things started getting hot and heavy when suddenly one of the security guard came in !! He cought us with her pants still unzipped ! We both managed to slip away and ran while he is after us and trying to contact other guards with his walkie-talkie. I guess he thought we are some underage kids. |
Guilty & Innocent
So many things happened yet i had no time to write them down. First of all, i still remember few days ago i fought again with her. Cant imagine, my girlfriend on the lap of some motherfucking asshole ! She slept on his lap for atleast an hour.. damn.. thats like having her face on his dick.. its just few inch away covered with his pants on top. Worst of all, she can call me and tell me everything she did so proudly and she was fucking happy with it. I wish i had a chance to ask her "Dont you feel guilty about it ?". Its not a big deal he kissed her hand because its something he did to her not the other way around like she sleeping on his lap, thats something she eagerly did to him without feeling guilty at all. When i said its wrong, i can't accept all that, i don't like it, she replies me with "You don't own me okay !!". What the fuck is that ? I mean, what the fuck was that, she just said i don't own her. I don't own you but you are my fucking girlfriend okay, you understand that ??!!! The next one was much worst, she said "I don't have to tell you whatever i did with him". Ohw god.. thats the worst thing she had ever said to me. Hey girl, its not about you telling me or not about all this shit you do with him, its about you feeling its right or not to do, you get it ? And ohw.. another superb explaination from her is that "Its not that i had sex with him". Huh.. well for you maybe only having sex with another guy while having relationship with other one is wrong but the problem is i can't accept it. For me, sleeping on his filthy dick is as worst as having sex with him and i can never tolerate something like that !! If you still wanna do it then leave me and find some retarded asshole who can accept all that. |
Aftermath
Is love all bout making phone calls every night ? She knows i'm really running out of cash, she knows i'm broke. I was really talking to my dad when she called me and my phone battery dead when i was talking with her, but she never believed anything i say. Its not some fucking excuses, its the god damn reasons !!! She thinking i'm scared of my brothers. What the fuck, i'm not some fucking coward. I already explained her that my brothers doesn't like me wasting my dad's money on reloading my phone prepaid. Also that. i don't like to talk on phone with my girlfriend in front of my brothers because i feel fucking awkward and uneasy with that, not that i'm fucking coward. I'm running away from nobody !!! But for that she called me.. i'm full of nonsense, isn't it ? For her i'm a fucking nonsense. She says i dont love her and i've changed, i'm not the same just because i'm not calling and talking with her properly. She get irritated with me so easily, even thou i don't do a damn thing wrong. She never fucking appreciate my existence in her life, thats the truth. I haven't ate even an ice cream for the past few weeks, not even chocolates or a proper drink. I'm surviving mainly on sandwich bread and plain water to save money so i can reload my phone and call her. I'm suffering so much but she never cares about all that. Not even once. Everytime she spend time with another guy on phone, she get attracted to them and lost interest on me. This is the moments when she gets irritated with me even if i do a single and most simplest mistake. She'll ask me to call just to tell me that she had a wonderful long chat on phone with that asshole. Whatever good i do becomes wrong and whatever wrong i do becomes a deadly sin. Its not the first time happening, it happens all the time and if i try to explain to her she will say something like "Ohw, so its all my fault la now" or "Yea, yea.. whateva laa.. you are always right, i'm wrong.. you are the perfect one". These are the moments when she makes me wanna give up on her. I wish i can ask her, if i'm so fucking lame and he is funny why you fall in love with me ? Why don't you just go stick with that asshole and let him humor you all day long. If i make a joke, its lame and stupid right then for WHAT FUCK YOU LOVE ME WHEN YOU DONT LIKE ME !!!? Is it something like, you only love me but you dont like me, you like that asshole very much, is that it ? Bcoz he is much betta looking, he is funny and interesting and can make you laugh all fucking day long !!! | Break Up !!??? | Jealous | Bored Of Me ? | |
Welcome To My Blog  Age: 20 Birthday: 20.02.1985 Zodiac: Picses Bloodtype: X+ Website: Listening: Writing: Writing this blog Playing: NFS Carbon Reading: Mood: Damn Happy Quote: "For fuck sake, just let me die now !" Text-based MMORPG: Darkthrone Best Cheat Site : Happysurfer 1. Upcoming games screenshot : Dimitri and Fable's Expansion Set 2. Chapter V of his history December 2005 l November 2006 l December 2006 l January 2007 l MMORPG DarkThrone Friendster people online hits. Powered By: 
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